When the driving habits of others seem to drive us crazy
A common complaint heard in Thailand, particularly when in the company of “farangs,” concerns the unconventional (in the experience of some) driving habits of many of the local inhabitants.
Negotiating one’s way through dense herds of unruly motorcycles roaming the urban roadways of this country represents a distinct challenge to some drivers. The number of passengers carried by those motorcycles is frequently in violation of legal regulations, not to mention the laws of physics. The tender age of many passengers, some of whom are mere babes in mothers’ arms, further contributes to the dangerous mix. Additionally, those motorcyclists often seem inclined to tempt fate by traveling against the conventional flow of traffic. Those acculturated to local driving norms appear quite unconcerned. For those of us accustomed to a different set of norms, however, the experience can be quite unnerving.
Driving hazards are not confined to those of the motorcycle variety. Certain routine practices by those driving cars, trucks, vans, farm vehicles, and motorized contraptions which defy description can become a cause of concern for those unfamiliar, and even some long familiar, with such dangerous behavior.
Most critics of local drivers, it seems, appear to treat this problem with acceptance, resignation and occasionally a bit of humor: The Thai phrase, “Mai ben rai” seems the operative attitude of many. Although they find driving experiences frightening and, of course dangerous, these individuals respond to the problem merely with annoyance, and perhaps take special precautions to drive more cautiously or defensively as a result.
Other drivers respond quite differently. They can easily become quite upset by others’ driving habits, shouting, cursing, and using the rich and expressive language of gestures to convey their contempt for their errant fellow motorists. At the extreme, some drivers have been known to retaliate against thoughtless or discourteous drivers by threatening them, chasing them down, running them off the road, and even physically assaulting them as the opportunity arises.
What distinguishes those whose emotions become volatile in response to driving norms from the “Mai ben rai” crowd? While the reckless behavior of motorists is an important factor, it alone cannot explain the response of those who become emotionally upset and respond with homicidal rage. We are, all of us, dealing with virtually the same driving behavior, yet we are not all responding the same emotionally and behaviorally.
A key difference between emotionally hot and emotionally cool drivers is the way they think about their driving experiences. One’s thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs about other motorists’ dangerous driving habits is instrumental in producing our emotional response. For example, if I entertain the notion that people MUST drive the way I very much prefer that they drive, I am likely to upset myself when they don’t. If I instead decide that I merely prefer that they drive according to my standards, I will likely be annoyed when they don’t. I will, however, spare myself the pain and emotional distress that I experience when my absolute demands are not met.
The idea that we humans are very talented in creating and maintaining emotional disturbance by entertaining irrational and disturbing thoughts is a key feature of an elegant modern theory of human emotional disturbance developed by psychologist Albert Ellis called Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
In Ellis’s view, it is possible for someone who habitually finds himself yelling, cursing, and experiencing homicidal thoughts to defuse his hostility and respond more appropriately to various adversities. We can, with effort, gain control over our emotional responses by learning to recognize the irrational thoughts which give rise to our emotional upsets. We can then learn techniques for disputing them, and replace them with thoughts which are more compatible with appropriate, non-disturbed emotions, and more rational and effective behavior.
Negotiating one’s way through dense herds of unruly motorcycles roaming the urban roadways of this country represents a distinct challenge to some drivers. The number of passengers carried by those motorcycles is frequently in violation of legal regulations, not to mention the laws of physics. The tender age of many passengers, some of whom are mere babes in mothers’ arms, further contributes to the dangerous mix. Additionally, those motorcyclists often seem inclined to tempt fate by traveling against the conventional flow of traffic. Those acculturated to local driving norms appear quite unconcerned. For those of us accustomed to a different set of norms, however, the experience can be quite unnerving.
Driving hazards are not confined to those of the motorcycle variety. Certain routine practices by those driving cars, trucks, vans, farm vehicles, and motorized contraptions which defy description can become a cause of concern for those unfamiliar, and even some long familiar, with such dangerous behavior.
Most critics of local drivers, it seems, appear to treat this problem with acceptance, resignation and occasionally a bit of humor: The Thai phrase, “Mai ben rai” seems the operative attitude of many. Although they find driving experiences frightening and, of course dangerous, these individuals respond to the problem merely with annoyance, and perhaps take special precautions to drive more cautiously or defensively as a result.
Other drivers respond quite differently. They can easily become quite upset by others’ driving habits, shouting, cursing, and using the rich and expressive language of gestures to convey their contempt for their errant fellow motorists. At the extreme, some drivers have been known to retaliate against thoughtless or discourteous drivers by threatening them, chasing them down, running them off the road, and even physically assaulting them as the opportunity arises.
What distinguishes those whose emotions become volatile in response to driving norms from the “Mai ben rai” crowd? While the reckless behavior of motorists is an important factor, it alone cannot explain the response of those who become emotionally upset and respond with homicidal rage. We are, all of us, dealing with virtually the same driving behavior, yet we are not all responding the same emotionally and behaviorally.
A key difference between emotionally hot and emotionally cool drivers is the way they think about their driving experiences. One’s thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs about other motorists’ dangerous driving habits is instrumental in producing our emotional response. For example, if I entertain the notion that people MUST drive the way I very much prefer that they drive, I am likely to upset myself when they don’t. If I instead decide that I merely prefer that they drive according to my standards, I will likely be annoyed when they don’t. I will, however, spare myself the pain and emotional distress that I experience when my absolute demands are not met.
The idea that we humans are very talented in creating and maintaining emotional disturbance by entertaining irrational and disturbing thoughts is a key feature of an elegant modern theory of human emotional disturbance developed by psychologist Albert Ellis called Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT).
In Ellis’s view, it is possible for someone who habitually finds himself yelling, cursing, and experiencing homicidal thoughts to defuse his hostility and respond more appropriately to various adversities. We can, with effort, gain control over our emotional responses by learning to recognize the irrational thoughts which give rise to our emotional upsets. We can then learn techniques for disputing them, and replace them with thoughts which are more compatible with appropriate, non-disturbed emotions, and more rational and effective behavior.
posted by Michael | Thursday, March 17, 2005
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